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The Fanon Corner: Kill The Shadow 2
Introduction: Welcome! (The setting is what appears to be a small office interior, complete with white walls, carpeting, and a table lined with computers on either end. On camera, there is a visual of a young, brown-haired woman with blue eyes wearing a cloak around her shoulders. On a couch behind her, another woman with dark blue hair and wearing a white uniform was lounging, apparently asleep by the steady rise and fall of her chest.) Girl 1: Let's see... everything's operational... the camera light's on, and we are recording. Right! (Turns head to look at something off-screen.) Hey Braetard! We're on, get off of the computer! Off-Screen Voice: (grumble, Australian accent.) Yeah, yeah, don't rush me... Girl: (Turns to camera, smiling and speaking with British accent.) Hello, ladies, gentlemen and other uncategorized sentients! Welcome to our very first episode of the Fanon Corner! I'm Brina McTavish, Dragon of the Inner Circle and veteran of the Gotei Thirteen's Second Division--" O.S. Voice: "Ex-Member". Brina: (Confused, turns head towards voice source.) Huh? O.S. Voice: The correct term would be "ex-member". Y'know, considering you defected instead of retiring under normal circumstance? You make it sound like you were discharged honorably or something like that. Brina: (Huffs and glares.) Shut it, Braeburn! I believe I'm entitled to use any term I want for reference purposes! Braeburn: Mhm. (Sarcastic.) It's not like you're trying to introduce any propaganda or anything concerning yourself. Brina: (Eye twitching) Ooooh~!! You're so lucky we're on the air right now!! (Turns back towards the camera and smiling.) Anyway, what you just heard off-screen was none other than my stupid brother Braeburn, ex-member of the 3rd Division and member of the Deep Cover Ops. (Upon finishing of that statement, the said "Braeburn" comes on screen and wraps an arm around Brina's shoulders, cool and nonchalant.) Braeburn: (Faux cheer.) G'day, mates! Lovely weather we're having, isn't it? (regresses to annoyed tone.) I wish. It's like a sauna everywhere I go. The only reason no one's dropping like flies in here is because the air conditioning does a really good job. I might as well stay here for the whole day. Brina: (sticks out her tongue at him) Well, too bad! You're only authorized to stay here for the show, so after that, it's off to your sauna home! Braeburn: Actually, the D.C.O.'s pretty hooked up, as well. The only trouble is having to move from all the way here to there without getting heatstroke. I don't care if you're good at using Flash Steps or not, ninety-three degrees is not a way to go. (Turns attention to camera.) So for you outside goers, make sure you've brought plenty of sun-screen, or at least wait until later in the day, because otherwise you will not survive! Brina: Moving back on track, though. The Fanon Corner is a place where we smash the fourth wall to pieces! Complete with the ability to review chapters of the very manga we're based off of, interviews with characters in both the fanon and canon universe, and some humor! Though our author isn't really trying to be funny, so any laughs you can find is completely unintentional. But it really would make us happy if you could find something humorous within these cha-- wait, what are you doing...? (Brina is looking in slight confusion at Braeburn, who has his nose a bit close to her neck. He pulls back casually when she gives him a stare.) Braeburn: You smell nice, like strawberries. What shampoo would you happen to use? Brina: (Blushes, shocked.) W-why would you even ask that when we're on the air?! Get off of me! (Shoves a laughing Braeburn off-screen.) And I use the kind that actually works, thank you very much! (Turns back to camera, huffing.) Jeez... I'm jealous of the people out there that don't have to deal with troublesome siblings... Braeburn: Oh, come on, love, you know you can't stand to live without me for one moment! Brina: (Rolls eyes.) Keep telling yourself that, my dear Braeburn. So, because the manga is released onto sites like Mangastream and Mangahere - the sites that we usually stick to checking out - on a weekly basis, we'll be updating weekly, as well. Keep in mind that the hosts of each chapter will change, so expect other character pairs from our author to appear in order to pretty much do the same thing we're doing. Also, because this can be a pretty long thing, expect this article in particular to be continuously updated every day before the weekly deadline. Braeburn: (Pops back on screen, startling Brina.) Oh, and the interviews! At the main page, make sure to put your name under the section entitled "Pending Guests" if you want your character interviewed. Be forewarned, for the other writers out there; make sure that you are able to use proficient grammar and spelling! If you're one of those people out there too lazy to use correct punctuation, then we will ridicule you in a ruthless and cruel fashion. So make sure you know what you're doing, wankers! (Pops back off-screen.) Brina: ...yeah, what he said... (Gives a raised eyebrow before turning back to the camera.) Also, for any questions you would like to ask us, feel free to submit any questions you have on our main page's talk page. You can ask us anything you wish. But once again, we ask that you be logical about it. Also, make sure that the question is understandable! You don't want to be the one everyone makes fun of because your question looks like broken English when written out. Braeburn: Anything else we need to go over? Brina: Uhm... (Thoughtful, looks away from camera in order to ponder.) No, I don't think so. I guess that's pretty much it, for now. (Shrugs.) Anything else will have to be said after potential disasters. Braeburn: Good, because that just tired me out! Brina: ...really? (Unimpressed.) You said less than what I'' did, and you claim to be exhausted? '''Braeburn:' Yep. Brina: (Deadpan.) ...you are such a lazy moron. I don't even see how Hana could put up with you. (Turns back to camera.) Anyway, we're off to this quick commercial break, so don't go anywhere, we'll be right back! (Brina places a hand on the screen and cuts the camera off, ending transmission.) Chapter 497 Review: Killing The Awesomeness! (Restore Transmission. The girl sleeping on the couch is nowhere to be seen, having exited the room. Braeburn is off-screen and on one of the computers as "Thousand Foot Krutch - We Are" is playing in the background. Braeburn can be heard humming to the beat. Other than that, there is no action within the room itself. One of the major things that have changed, however, is a massive projector the camera is directly focused on.) (The door to the room opens, revealing Brina.) Brina: (Cheery, shuts the door behind her.) All right! It seems that our first guest is right on his way. How's it on your end, Braebu--" Braeburn (O.S.): (Shocked.) Holy crap! Come take a look at our main page right now! It's only been a few minutes since we've posted this, too! (Confused, Brina walks off screen and presumably towards Braeburn's location.) Brina (O.S.): What? What is it? Braeburn (O.S.): Just a few minutes in, and we've already got notices from, like, six different people saying that they want to serve as guest stars. And that's excluding the one coming up here! We're getting popular quick, huh? Brina (O.S.): (Unimpressed.) ...They're all from one user... Braeburn (O.S.): So? C'mon, Sheila, do your multiplication tables! At this rate, we're gonna be rated real high in the next few weeks! Brina (O.S.): (Scoffs.) Don't hold your breath. That's only true if the value's constant. But like I said, there's going to be a guest arriving just in time for our review of the Bleach Chapter 497. So, did you write down a list of questions we're going to ask him? Braeburn (O.S.): ...huh? Brina (O.S.): ...We went over this in the commercial break. You were supposed to come up with a list of questions that we could ask the guest star without sounding like two morons pulling it out of our butts. Braeburn (O.S.): ...Oh. I was supposed to do that? (A silence. Then, the sound of Brina slapping a palm to her face can be heard.) Brina (O.S.): You are so impossible! We had this conversation minutes ago, and you're telling me you forgot?! Braeburn (O.S.): (Amused.) No, I'm asking you if I was supposed to do it. I mean, for all I know, you could've been lying and joking around with me. Brina (O.S.): Why would I tell you to do something important when I don't mean it?! Braeburn (O.S.): Reverse psychology? (The sound of Brina slapping Braeburn can be heard.) Braeburn (O.S.): OW!!! You didn't have to hit me for that!! Brina: (Shuffles back on the screen, looking comically annoyed.) Ok, everyone, I guess we have some technical difficulties thanks to miscommunication... or stupidity on behalf of Braeburn, I don't know. I apologize for any inconvenience we might have throughout this review, but we're just going to have to wing it for the time being--" (A sound knocking is heard at the door, followed by the voice of the girl that had been sleeping on the couch.) Girl (O.S.): Dragon-sama, I've brought the guest. Brina: (Lets out a sigh before turning to give Braeburn a comical glare, whispering.) Did I mention how much I hate you? Braeburn (O.S.): Replace "hate" with "utterly idolize and adore" and you'd be much more accurate. Brina: (Rolls eyes, before turning towards the door.) All right, let him in, Kameyo! (The door opens. The said Kameyo walks in with a white-haired boy with a matching hoodie and shirt, a belt strapped on the outside of that shirt around his waist. He is also wearing blue pants and white boots.) Brina: (Cheerily.) Glad to see you could make it, Uchiwa-san! I hope the weather outside wasn't too bad for you... Akira: '(''Calm and collected, smiling slightly with his hands in his coat pockets) Well, you could say that I picked a bad day to wear a jacket. '''Braeburn (O.S.): ...you're kidding. You're kidding, right? (Braeburn storms into view of the camera, fixing a glare at Akira.) Braeburn: You mean to tell me that you came in here, with a jacket, when it's 95 degrees outside, and you're acting like it's no big deal?! One step for me made it feel like I was walking on the sun!! You cannot be serious!! Is there some sort of air conditioner in that jacket of yours?! Akira: '(''retains look, closing eyes and smirking): My epic keeps me cool. (As Braeburn is left sputtering angrily, unable to come up with a sentence, Brina laughs in clear amusement.) '''Brina: Glad to see we have a professional in our midst! Just what we needed. Braeburn, if you could be a dear and move the camera? Braeburn: (is wiping what appears to be foam from his mouth while walking behind the camera's view. Obscenities and colorful languages can be heard under his breath.) Brina: You've come just at a good time. We were just about to do our very own review of Bleach's latest chapter, Kill The Shadow 2. If you would, please take a seat. Akira: '(''sits) This is going to be fun, I can already tell. '''Braeburn (O.S.): (Grumbling, tone sarcastic.) Yeah, real fun... (The camera moves and zooms in to get a full-screen view of what is to come onto the projector. It flickers on with help from Kameyo, showing page one.) Brina (O.S.): The Captains of the 2nd, 6th, 7th and 10th Divisions have all had their Zanpakutō stolen away from them. The majority of the Captains are reeling from the shock of it - obviously enough. Some of them, however, manage to keep their cool. Braeburn (O.S.): I'd like to take this time to complain about the title of the chapter. Brina (O.S.): ...really? I haven't even started yet and you're already complaining about the title? Braeburn (O.S.): Eeyup! For one thing, why didn't Kubo name it that? "Kill the Shadow". "Kill the Shadow 2". "Kill the Shadow 3". Is this some sort of video game franchise instead of a chapter? Is he trying to rip off how the Mario franchise names their pieces of work? I mean, couldn't he have at least had the decency to name this chapter by a completely different name than just repeating the same one over and over? Tell me the reasoning behind that! Akira (O.S.):'''In Braeburn's defense, there isn't really much to compliment this new arc on. Regarding the naming of the chapters, my assumption is that when each chapter is named after another chapter but with a new number, it somehow relates to the previous chapter in some way. '''Braeburn (O.S.): It's not like we're complete morons! We know that his chapter is somehow related to the previous one. We know that this chapter is a continuation from the next. We know that this chapter is going to be a cliff-hanger! So why in hell-- Brina (O.S.): (Sighs.) Maybe there are some that don't bother to keep track. Braeburn (O.S.): (Scoffs.) Well, I feel ''real sorry for them. Next, I wanna point out another thing with the very first page. The very first panel from the last. Flash from top to bottom for me, would you, Takaki-san?'' (The projector zooms in on the first panel.) Braeburn (O.S.): Rape face! (Second panel.) Braeburn (O.S.): No face! (Third panel.) Braeburn (O.S.): Cute face! (Last panel.) Braeburn (O.S.): Scarface! (The page reverts back to full view.) Braeburn (O.S.): But above all, these are all various forms of one thing - the troll face! And you know what else? Those Quincy get bonus points because those particular Captains they stole it from are raging. Hard! You even got Ice Boy crying about it like a baby! HYORINMARU, SPEAK TO ME, MY LOVE! SPEAK TO ME! Brina (O.S.): Very cruel, Braeburn. Very cruel, indeed. Braeburn (O.S.): They were so setting themselves up for it. Akira (O.S.): '''They did have it coming after all, though they're all just tools for Kubo at the moment. What irked me about it most was Soifon's Bankai. As pointed out by others, she ''hates ''using her Bankai and here she wants to end the fight quickly so there "Won't be anything to worry about." Why didn't she just use her Shunko and Shikai? Byakuya clearly demonstrated that the Stern Ritter could actually take damage from a first release. Why bother going Bankai first thing even when they knew that something could be done with it? ''No ''strategy in my mind like that would ever work out nicely. '''Brina (O.S.): I read a comment on another blog created by one Seireitou. It states that such would mean that the author is tired of the series and wants to end it quickly. Maybe Kubo-san is suffering from this himself and is disregarding anything about individual characteristics and traits. After all, he did want to end the series after Aizen was defeated... Braeburn (O.S.): (Incredulous.) Then why would he make another one after that one? C'mon, end it at one or another, don't just keep making them because fans are complaining about it! Dragon Ball Z fell under that very same problem! The fans were whining about Goku not being the hero or something! Brina (O.S.): (Deadpan.) Focus, Braeburn. We're focusing on Bleach. Not another series. That extent of fourth-wall breaking comes later on. Braeburn (O.S.): (Annoyed.) Yeah, yeah, whatever. Brina (O.S.): (Thoughtful, watching as Kameyo is shifting through the pages.) I did have a theory of my own, though. This is taking a theory from the likes of another anime called Neon Genesis Evangelion. You see, a Zanpakutō serves as essentially a physical manifestation of the user's soul, right? Braeburn (O.S.): Uh... yeah? I think... Brina (O.S.): So that would mean it's a part of them. Braeburn (O.S.): And just what exactly are you getting at? Brina (O.S.): Well, if what I'm saying is accurate, and the Quincy essentially ripped away a part of their victim's souls when they stole their Bankai and possibly their entire Zanpakutō away from them. Not only would it be a shocker to see that their expectations were wrong, but can you honestly tell me that it would be a good feeling to have part of your very soul stolen from your body? Braeburn (O.S.): ...wait a minute... (His voice slowly begans to shift into a horrified tone.) So... if you're right... that means that... (A pause.) Braeburn (O.S.): (Completely shocked.) Those Quincy LITERALLY RAPED the CAPTAINS?!!! Brina (O.S.): Well, I couldn't find a better reason for why even Byakuya looks so stressed out, would you? Akira (O.S.): '(''Blinks several times, eyes widening slightly while he clears his throat). I uh....I don't know if that's an accurate comparison or not Braeburn. But in any case (returns to normal face) Personally, I believe that the Lost Agent arc was the perfect place to end the series. That way Kubo could just drop it and let the fanbase go wild with their fanfictions without the worry of a canon good guy being dead or not. '''Braeburn (O.S.): (Angry at first, then sarcastic.) No one cares what you believe, Mr. Epicness-Is-My-Air-Conditioner! I'll let you know when I want your opinion when we're both good and dead! Brina (O.S.): (Shrugs while smiling.) Apologies if I happened to corrupt your sight of the chapter, for those who happened to read it. But I digress. Let's get moving to the next scene. (The projector view flips to that of page eleven.) Braeburn (O.S.): All right, here's something I absolutely have to point out. This may have been another screw-up on Kubo's case, but I could care less. As far as this goes, I love overanalyzing stuff, and I'm gonna overthink this like the stupid wanker I am. Tell me, when Unohana points out that only the 2nd, 6th, and 7th Division Captains got royally screwed over, why did she leave out the 10th? Ice Boy was the one that was bawling the most! How does that even make sense?! Akira: (O.S): '(''smiles and chuckles) She's just mad that he got his own movie and that Kubo never gives her anything important to do. '''Braeburn (O.S): That doesn't make sense, either!! Stop screwing with my head!! Brina (O.S.): Guess something might happen with the likes of Hitsugaya-taichou's Zanpakutō later on. It might, it might not. We'll just have to see if our manga artist is on the ball or not. Braeburn (O.S.): (Takes a breath in order to calm himself.) Wouldn't hold my breath on it. Now, for the next scene... (The projector flips to page thirteen.) Braeburn (O.S.): I can probably guarantee that this is one of the few things I liked about this chapter, other than the first page of the troll-faces of evil that hit me on first glance. Kyōraku's speaking calmly to his particular enemy... who in turn, probably doesn't even give a flying f*** about what he's saying. Zoom in to the third panel. (The page zooms in to third panel.) Braeburn (O.S.): Isn't that a face that an old man would wear when saying "Boy, Ah reckon it'd best ta get yer scrawny little a** offa mah lawn before ah start showin' you some southern hospitality, y'hear?" Akira (O.S.): '''Yeah, an old southern man who whips out a gun and shoots you if you don't get off his lawn. I think he's the Colonel. '''Braeburn (O.S.): Ladies and gentlemen, this is what happens when you don't buy Colonel Sanders's chicken. He will become a Quincy-Nazi and put a bullet straight through your head. Just like he did with Kyōraku! Unfortunately, you're not as badass as him, so you would die instantly instead of escaping with an eye wound! Brina (O.S.): Somehow, I get the feeling that it would be wrong for him to escape with an eye wound. I think he might be one of the Captains to die, considering his seniority and all. Braeburn (O.S.): (Slightly sad.) I hope not! He's one of my favorite Captains! He can't die! Akira: (O.S.): '''I'm with Brina on this one. I believe that he, Byakuya, Sajin, who I might add is completely screwed over by the way, and Yamamoto are the only Captains that will die in this initial invasion. I wish I could say the same about a good majority of the Vice Captains and Seated Officers, unfortunately. '''Braeburn (O.S.): Moving onto my point of this being possibly the only good scene out of this particular chapter. Kyōraku is explaining something or other to the Quincy, only for him to get a big "F you" in the form of a bullet being shot at point-blank range. Short fight scene ensues, and it ends with Kyōraku on the receiving head-shot - I repeat, HEADSHOT - and only escapes with his eye being blown out. And he's still smiling, all the while! Brina (O.S): That may have been just a front, though. Did you see the beads of sweat afterwards on his face! It must have been quite painful for him to suffer through that. An instant kill would have been much more merciful. Braeburn (O.S.): (Scoffs.) Don't try and make it out to be such a serious problem. He'll be fine! They always are, considering Hiyori survived being cut in half, Ichigo survived having an energy blast punched right through his chest cavity, and other injuries. I wouldn't be surprised if one of their heads were chopped right off and their bodies were running around still swinging their sword. Brina (O.S.): ...don't jinx us. Please. Akira (O.S): '''....Ichigo has plot armor though. '''Braeburn (O.S.): You shut your whore mouth! (Clears throat.) Anyway, that's pretty much the only scene I liked. The rest of the chapter follows what the entire chapter pretty much has been doing this whole time - making characters give "WTF" reactions to everything that the Quincy did while the Quincy look on and laugh. This is how efficient the military of the after-life is, people! This is why badasses like me and Brina left! Brina (O.S.): Defected. Braeburn (O.S.): Defected, whatever! Akira (O.S.): '(*coughs* camerawhore *cough*'') I don't think anyone on this wiki likes the canon Gotei 13 as a whole. Something bad always happens to the original Gotei 13 and thus gives the user's room to create their own. '''Braeburn (O.S.): ...or they could've just retired. Akira (O.S.): 'Or that (''shrugs) '''Braeburn (O.S.): Anyway! (Claps hands.) Now it's time for the summary. (The projector is turned off. Braeburn walks in front of the camera view while rubbing his hands together.) Braeburn: Overall, this chapter was very much pointless and boring, aside from the brief fight scene between Kyōraku and Colonel Sanders. But it did teach me a few things! (Gestures towards screen.) One of them was a new word that I just made up: "canon filler". Get it? Because it's a play off of cannon fodder-- Brina (O.S.): (Yawns loudly.) Braeburn:' ...ok, fine. That was in bad taste. Secondly! It showed me what not to do when being a character in a story chapter and trying to look important. And thirdly, I learned that if you don't buy KFC, the Colonel will come down and stick his bullet into your eyeball. But that's just me. (Looks at the two sitting off-screen with curious expression.) What about you two? Akira (O.S.): '''I learned that the Gotei 13 is as good as dead, Sajin Konamura is equally screwed, Shunsei is going to have it rough due to getting hit first thing, and that Braeburn loves attention. '''Braeburn: ...go f*** yourself. (Switches attention to Brina.) What about you? Brina (O.S.): My opinion is yours. Only, I would've voiced it in a nicer tone... Braeburn: (Snorts.) Yeah, right. Sure you would've. (Turns attention back to camera.) Anyway, I guess that's it. Enjoy this particular chapter if you can, and if you're somehow able to... I feel sorry for you. (Turns head back to Akira with an annoyed glare, pointing a thumb towards the door.) That means get out of our workroom, Mr. Epic-Keeps-Me-Cool! I hope your own awesomeness ends up blowing up your house! Brina (O.S.): ...thank you for your time, Akira-san, and we appreciate you coming on the show with us, despite what my brother says... Akira (O.S.): 'Anytime Brina-san, and I understand Braeburn's attitude. With the way things in this arc are turning out, i'm sure everyone is feeling a little steamed....but not as much as him (''Leaves hastily, leaving a large trail of smoke in his wake) '''Braeburn: (Angry, anime vein popping on his cheek.). ...I hope the bloody bastard gets deconstructed somewhere along the way. Brina: (As she's walking on screen, up close in front of the camera and looking like she's adjusting something on it.) Braeburn, go check the page in order to see who we can bring up next. Since there hasn't been anyone who asked any answerable questions on the talk page, we'll just have to bring in someone for an interview. Braeburn: (As he's walking off screen, laughing a little.) Who knows? Maybe they're reading this right now and decided to show us some pity! Ha ha! Brina: (Steps back from camera, folding hands behind back and giving an enthusiastic smile.) Up next, we have "Ask A Question" right after these commercial break! If you haven't posted a question, there's still time to do so, as our author is currently busy with other role-playing collaborations. But, remember what we said earlier and make sure they're... y'know... questions that won't get you ridiculed by us. Thank you! (Cut transmission.) Ask A Question Time! Oh, And A Guest. Category:Fanfiction Category:Roleplay